It’s OK Not to Be OK
If you take nothing else from this message, take this:
There is nothing weak about being impacted by the things you’ve seen.
In fact, it would be inhuman if you weren’t impacted.
Every single day, our public safety professionals walk into chaos, suffering, and trauma—on repeat.
And yet for too long, the culture has said:
“Be strong. Shake it off. Don’t let it show.”
But that culture is killing us.
What the Research Says
If you’re struggling—if there are days you’re “OK and not OK”—you are not broken. You are human.
Let’s look at the data:
A 2018 report from the U.S. Department of Justice found that up to 35% of police officers meet criteria for PTSD at some point in their careers—compared to just 6.8% of the general public (U.S. DOJ, 2018).
A study published in The Journal of Emergency Medical Services reported that 37% of EMS professionals have contemplated suicide, and 6.6% have attempted it, more than 10x the national average (Bentley et al., 2013).
Officers may be exposed to 188+ critical incidents throughout their careers (Papazoglou & Andersen, 2014)—each one a potential moral, emotional, or spiritual injury.
Let that sink in.
Now ask yourself: What would it mean if you weren’t affected by that?
You’re Not Weak. You’re Wired.
You wouldn’t expect your body to walk away from a car crash without bruises.
So why do we expect the mind to walk away from trauma without scars?
In police culture, we’ve been taught to respect the healing of physical wounds—but we still hesitate to take time to heal invisible wounds:
Moral injuries that violate your core values.
Emotional exhaustion from bearing others’ pain.
Spiritual disconnection from the “why” that once drove you.
As Dr. Shauna Springer says, when you’re surrounded by dark and destructive things, it’s not unusual to develop dark and destructive thoughts.
It doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your nervous system is trying to adapt—and it’s time to listen.
Building Emotional Intelligence Around What You Feel
Part of becoming emotionally intelligent is learning to name what’s real.
If you’re not feeling 100%, ask yourself:
Is this grief?
(From the losses you carry that never make the news.)Is this anger or resentment?
(From being stretched too thin, too long, with too little support.)Is this sadness or depression?
(A loss of joy, purpose, or belief in the mission.)Is this moral injury?
(When you’re asked to act against what you believe is right—or see others do so unchecked.)
These are not signs of weakness.
They’re signals.
And they deserve care.
What to Do When You’re OK… and Not OK
Even if now’s not the time to step away, you still have choices.
Here are ways to support yourself in these in-between spaces:
Name what you feel. Use the labels above. Emotion becomes more manageable when we can articulate it.
Talk to someone you trust. A friend, a spouse, a chaplain, a therapist. Speak your truth aloud.
Use your rings. When emotional health is shaky, lean on other wellness rings: Social Connection, Family, Spiritual, Physical, and Resilience.
Ground your nervous system. Use breathwork, cold water, walking, music, or meditation to bring your system back online.
Know when to get help. If you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts, isolation, burnout, or feeling like you’re at the end of your rope, reach out. That’s courage. That’s leadership.
This Is Strength. Not Weakness.
Every hero has a limit.
And those who last in this profession—those who thrive, not just survive—are the ones who know when it’s time to pause, repair, and rise again.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
Call to Action
This week, pause and ask yourself honestly:
“Am I OK?”
Not the surface answer. The real one.
Then do one thing to support yourself:
Call a friend. Take a walk. Schedule a therapy appointment. Share something real with someone who sees you.
The strongest thing you can do this week is to honor what’s true—and act on it.
That’s not giving up. That’s taking your power back.