The Drama Triangle: Recognizing Power and Reclaiming Agency
Imagine this.
You’re two years into the job. You’ve been showing up, giving your best, and trying to keep your head above water. But suddenly, a policy change, a leadership shakeup, or even a rumor that you’ve “lost your edge” starts to ripple through the grapevine. Now, you’re questioning yourself. You’re angry. You’re exhausted. And, worse yet, you feel trapped.
Welcome to the Drama Triangle.
The Trap: Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer
Originally developed by Dr. Stephen Karpman in 1968, the Drama Triangle describes a psychological and emotional game in which people switch between three roles:
Victim – “This is happening to me.”
Persecutor – “This is your fault.”
Rescuer – “I’ll save you… and maybe I’ll feel better about myself in the process.”
When we’re in this triangle, we feel powerless. We may lash out, withdraw, or overextend ourselves trying to “fix” what can’t be fixed from a place of reactivity.
And here’s the real kicker: we all do it.
In law enforcement, nursing, education, and countless high-stakes careers, people are trained to protect, to serve, to support. But the relentless demands of the job—coupled with systemic stress—can quickly morph the role of protector into persecutor or rescuer. And often, the rescuer is simply a victim trying desperately to regain control.
It’s not just psychological theory. Research shows that individuals who perceive themselves as powerless in their organizations are more likely to experience emotional exhaustion and burnout (Bakker et al., 2005). When we feel like we have no say in our workplace, our relationships, or our futures, the triangle starts to spin.
The Empowerment Triangle: A New Way Forward
The antidote? A different triangle entirely—The Empowerment Triangle, developed by David Emerald (2009):
Creator (vs. Victim) – I have the power to influence what happens next.
Challenger (vs. Persecutor) – I challenge you with respect, not aggression.
Coach (vs. Rescuer) – I’ll support you, but the power is in your hands.
This shift moves us from reactivity to responsibility. It allows us to stop blaming, saving, or shrinking—and instead start choosing. Choosing how we respond. Choosing how we speak. Choosing how we show up. Even when we don’t control the situation, we control our participation in it.
And this change isn’t just mental—it’s physical. Neuroscience shows that when we begin to practice mindfulness and self-awareness (the heart of stepping out of the Drama Triangle), we strengthen connections between the amygdala (our alarm system) and the prefrontal cortex (our rational, planning center) (Garland et al., 2015). We train our nervous systems not just to survive conflict, but to stay grounded within it.
A Common Scenario
You’re a dispatcher. You’ve picked up every overtime shift, stayed late to cover callouts, and haven’t had a proper day off in weeks. Then, you get a call from leadership that your shift is being moved. No discussion. No thanks. Just change.
Immediately, your internal voice kicks in:
“They don’t care about me.”
“Why does this always happen to me?”
“Screw it—I’m not answering the radio tomorrow.”
Sound familiar?
That’s the triangle. You feel like a victim, so you prepare to persecute (even if it’s passive). Maybe later, your friend vents and you jump in as the rescuer. You try to fix it for them, hoping it’ll ease your own sense of powerlessness.
But what if instead, you paused?
“What do I need right now to feel steady?”
“How can I make a clear request or advocate for myself?”
“What’s within my control in this moment?”
That’s where real agency lives.
Why This Matters for Every Team, Every Day
Research on occupational burnout shows that feelings of helplessness and powerlessness are among the top predictors of disengagement and emotional exhaustion (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). In contrast, teams that cultivate internal locus of control—where members feel they have influence over their circumstances—report greater wellbeing, productivity, and job satisfaction.
And that’s why more agencies and organizations are starting to teach the Drama Triangle and its antidote from day one.
Because the earlier you see the pattern, the quicker you can choose to step out of it.
Call to Action: Step Out and Step In
Name the Role.
Notice the moments when you’re thinking or behaving like a victim, persecutor, or rescuer. No judgment. Just awareness.Ask a Better Question.
Victim → “What’s one thing I can do right now?”
Persecutor → “What’s really bothering me underneath the anger?”
Rescuer → “Am I helping because they need it—or because I need to feel helpful?”
Create a New Narrative.
Step into your power as a co-creator. What’s the next right step you can take, no matter how small?Practice in the Small Moments.
The next time someone frustrates you, or a policy feels unfair, try pausing and grounding yourself—before reacting. Your nervous system, your team, and your relationships will thank you.
Power begins with presence.
Presence begins with awareness.
And awareness begins with a choice.
Make the choice to step off the triangle.
Choose empowerment. Every time.
Citations (MLA Format)
Bakker, Arnold B., et al. “Job resources buffer the impact of job demands on burnout.” Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, vol. 10, no. 2, 2005, pp. 170–180.
Emerald, David. The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic. Polaris Publishing, 2009.
Garland, Eric L., et al. “The role of mindfulness in positive reappraisal.” Mindfulness, vol. 6, no. 2, 2015, pp. 234–245.
Maslach, Christina, and Michael P. Leiter. Burnout: A Multidimensional Perspective. Psychology Press, 2016.