Resilience Begins Within: Owning Your Perceptions
“People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.”
— Epictetus
More than 2,000 years ago, the Stoic philosopher Epictetus reminded us of a truth that still holds today: it’s not the events themselves that break us, but how we perceive and respond to them. For first responders, who face storms daily, this wisdom is more than philosophy—it’s survival.
Locus of Control: Where Is Your Power?
Psychologists call it locus of control—the degree to which you believe you have control over the events of your life.
External locus of control: Life happens to me. My outcomes depend on luck, fate, or other people.
Internal locus of control: Life happens through me. I can’t control everything, but I can control my mindset, perceptions, and responses.
Studies show that individuals with a stronger internal locus of control experience lower stress, better performance, and higher resilience (Rotter 1966).
For first responders, this means you may not control the calls you get or the trauma you witness—but you can control how you process, perceive, and recover.
The Drama Triangle vs. The Empowerment Triangle
Psychologist Stephen Karpman identified the Drama Triangle, a cycle that keeps us stuck:
Victim: “This is happening to me, and I’m powerless.”
Persecutor: “It’s their fault. I’m angry and resentful.”
Rescuer: “I’ll fix everything for everyone else, even at my own expense.”
Sound familiar? Many in public safety live here without realizing it.
But there’s a flip side: The Empowerment Triangle (Emerald, 2009). Instead of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer, you step into:
Creator: “What can I do with what I have?”
Challenger: “How can I grow through this?”
Coach: “How can I support others without losing myself?”
Shifting from Drama to Empowerment isn’t about ignoring pain. It’s about reclaiming your agency.
Doc Springer: Resilience Isn’t Infinite
Dr. Shauna “Doc” Springer reminds us: “We’re all resilient—until we’re not.”
Resilience isn’t an endless supply. If we never pause to look within and nurture our roots, the storms will eventually knock us down.
True resilience isn’t about snapping back quickly.
It’s about bending without breaking—growing roots so deep that, while the tree may sway, it doesn’t fall.
This starts with owning our perceptions. When we take responsibility for how we interpret and respond, we strengthen the foundation that allows us to withstand life’s storms.
Practical Tools to Build Inner Roots
Pause and Name It: Notice your first reaction. Ask: Is this my external reality—or my perception of it?
Flip the Triangle: If you feel like a Victim, ask: What’s one small action I can take as a Creator?
Practice Mindfulness: Research shows that 12 minutes a day of mindfulness training improves attention and emotional regulation (Jha et al. 2017).
Reframe the Story: Instead of “This ruined my day,” try: “This is my challenge. What strength can I build through it?”
Call to Action: Root Yourself in Resilience
This week, when stress or conflict hits, pause and ask yourself:
Am I seeing this through the Drama Triangle—or the Empowerment Triangle?
What part of this can I own right now—my thoughts, my breath, my perspective?
Write down one situation each day where you actively chose to shift your perception. Watch how, over time, you feel stronger, steadier, and more in control—no matter the storm.
Because real resilience isn’t about being unshakable.
It’s about being rooted deeply enough to rise again, every single time.
Works Cited
Emerald, David. The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic. Polaris Publishing, 2009.
Jha, Amishi P., et al. “Short-form mindfulness training protects against cognitive vulnerability to stress.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 114, no. 37, 2017, pp. 9978–9983.
Rotter, Julian B. “Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement.” Psychological Monographs: General and Applied, vol. 80, no. 1, 1966, pp. 1–28.
Springer, Shauna. Warrior: How to Support Those Who Protect Us. Armin Lear Press, 2020.