Does the person who generates the most noise in meetings possess the most leadership power? Research thinks not. Throughout my career, I watched some attempt to lead by commanding the room, and reflecting back on those moments, the single most important thing I remember is where the conversation went after we left the room (and it was never about the topic at hand, but rather the person who was losing it in front of the room). Most importantly, when trying to push your way to the top, we often abandon many people along the way. Leadership maturity is revealed through the ability to establish open spaces, rather than through loud declarations. Leadership titles and work experience, along with professional expertise, serve as entry points, but they fail to produce loyal followers or wise decision-making abilities. Leadership maturity is demonstrated through the development of capacity, rather than through the number of commands issued. The most experienced leaders understand their mission is to help people join the journey while maintaining direction for both the organization and its members. I’m not saying that leadership can’t be loud, but it does have to be capable. Let’s consider how we can generate more capacity to enhance our performance and explore new ideas for our organizations.
Great Leaders Whisper
New leaders tend to demonstrate their authority through visible control methods, which include issuing loud commands, responding quickly, and maintaining a firm grip on the steering wheel. Research on leadership development indicates that using authority expressed through commands has a counterproductive effect, working against the building of trust and fostering innovation (Sinek, 2017). Leadership whispering is not a call to be the quietest voice, but it does require us to seek capacity in conversations that isn’t always available when we shut off the problem-solving attention of our team just because we want to dominate a room.
Great leaders whisper because they understand that strong communication does not require high volume. A whispered inquiry about available choices, options, or considerations has the ability to generate more possibilities than a forceful command. The act of whispering represents maturity because it demands self-control and faith in the power of subtle influence to create enduring results. It is the ability to amplify learning because you are getting others in the room to search for answers that they may or may not already have.
From Driver to Guiderail
New leaders often find the driver metaphor appealing because it allows them to take control of the wheel and make decisions while assuming full responsibility for the results. The direct control method is effective during emergencies and when working with inexperienced teams; however, it becomes impractical for long-term leadership and management. The development of mature leaders involves establishing guardrails, which provide clear principles and boundaries that enable team members to navigate safely while maintaining their integrity.
The guiderail approach supports adaptive leadership principles by establishing environments that enable team members to handle problems independently, rather than providing them with predetermined solutions (Heifetz, Grashow, & Linsky, 2009). Leaders who function as guiderails create defined limits through established values, shared vision, and agreed-upon standards, which enable self-directed work without losing control. The transition between these two models follows the same operational principles as tactical operations. Special operations units utilize mission parameters and the commander’s intent to define their boundaries, rather than controlling every single action. The guiderail system enables team members to create innovative solutions while staying within predetermined limits. Organization leaders who have reached maturity create the mission framework and establish boundaries before giving their teams the freedom to work inside those parameters.
From Answers to Questions
Leadership maturity reveals itself through the transition from providing solutions to seeking clarification from others. Research in neuroscience indicates that individuals who solve problems independently activate stronger brain pathways for learning and motivation (Rock, 2006). The delivery of pre-made answers prevents people from taking ownership of their work, which leads to decreased involvement.
Leaders at a mature level recognize their main responsibility is to create inquiry rather than maintain all knowledge. Leaders use thought-provoking questions to help their teams reflect on their goals, resources, and conflicting values. The questions serve as invitations rather than attempts to avoid responsibility. The questions enable team members to think independently while making decisions and taking leadership roles.
Leaders who adopt a coaching mindset use this method to guide their teams. A coach-leader avoids the role of fixer because they choose to become a multiplier, according to Whitmore (2017). Through their teams develop into followers who also learn how to take leadership roles.
From Control to Capacity
Leadership maturity becomes most evident when professionals transition from trying to control everything to building the capabilities of others. Leaders who focus on control achieve compliance but fail to develop their team members. Leaders who have reached maturity understand that their power stems from enabling others to grow rather than from strict control of results.
The core principle of Transformational leadership theory supports this concept. Leaders who motivate their teams and provide challenges and empowerment enable their groups to achieve results that exceed what direct supervision can accomplish (Bass & Riggio, 2006). Maturity in leadership involves moving away from task-oriented work to focus on developing the abilities of others. The leaders they create become their main indicator of success rather than their personal achievements.
The Neuroscience of Maturity
Why does this evolution matter? From a neurobiological perspective, leadership maturity reflects a shift from reactive to reflective processing. Leaders who must control every detail are often operating under a threat response, triggering the amygdala and narrowing focus (Porges, 2011). Mature leaders, by contrast, engage the prefrontal cortex (regulating emotion, practicing restraint, and cultivating perspective). This fosters psychological safety, which research indicates is the strongest predictor of high-performing teams (Edmondson, 2019).
By whispering rather than shouting, by asking rather than telling, and by guiding rather than controlling, leaders regulate not only their own nervous systems but also the collective nervous system of their organizations. They turn down the static of fear and turn up the signal of trust.
A Tactical Reflection
After 25 years in public safety operations and special operations, I have witnessed the consequences of both immature bosses and mature leadership. Immature bosses mistake control for competence and answers for authority. They burn themselves and their teams out. Mature leaders, however, create guiderails that hold under pressure, ask questions that unlock potential, and expand capacity that endures long after they are gone (Ellis, 2025).
In one operation I led, the most important decision I made was not tactical but relational: I trusted my team’s training and let them execute without interference. The mission succeeded not because of my control but because of their capacity. That is the paradox of mature leadership: the less it centers on the leader, the more powerful the results.
References
Bass, B. M., & Riggio, R. E. (2006).Transformational leadership (2nd ed.). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Edmondson, A. C. (2019).The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
Ellis, B. (2025). Leadership presentation to the Broken Arrow Police Department. National Command & Staff College.
Heifetz, R., Grashow, A., & Linsky, M. (2009).The practice of adaptive leadership. Harvard Business Press.
Porges, S. W. (2011).The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton.
Rock, D. (2006).Quiet leadership: Six steps to transforming performance at work. HarperCollins.
Sinek, S. (2017).Leaders eat last: Why some teams pull together and others don’t. Penguin.
Whitmore, J. (2017).Coaching for performance: The principles and practice of coaching and leadership (5th ed.). Nicholas Brealey Publishing.